I Lied.

A while back, I posted a picture of Brooks and me with a caption about “my why.” It said a bunch of stuff about how I want to be the example that shows Brooks he can blaze his train and follow his own dreams. It said something about how I wanted the flexibility to spend time with him.

It said all of the things it’s supposed to say. The stuff you hear from everyone: “I do it for the community.” “I do this because I love my followers/ clients/ friends/ etc.” 

It’s a lie. I lied. This isn’t true. 

I’m doing this for me.

I spend a lot of time by myself. Just for me. 

I prioritize my workouts above most other things. Just for me.

I turn down social engagements. Just for me.

I get up earlier than my husband and my son. Just for me.

I let the dishes pile up in the sink. Just for me. 

I don’t bother stressing out over laundry. Just for me.

The other day a friend asked me why I booked a recent photoshoot. I did it for me. Not for branding or my website or anything related to my business. I did it for me, to show myself how hot I look. 

Pretty much everything I do, I do for myself. I do it because it makes me happy, and I’m good at it, and how lucky am I that I can make money doing it? Let's be real; I’m unemployable.

I guess I should feel guilty, right? This is the part where they say, “you’re just so selfish!” 

Let me let you in on a little secret: I’ve just discovered what makes me happy. And if you discovered what made you happy, you’d be selfish, too. The only person who is keeping you from doing the stuff you like is you. Yeah, you. 

Find what makes you happy and do it for yourself. Put it above absolutely everything else in your life. This isn’t me telling you that you can do it; this is me saying YOU MUST DO THIS.

You have to. The entire world depends on it.

There is that saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” When your cup is empty, you get tired, resentful, and angry. Your libido vanishes, your stress goes through the roof, and your body fights back with digestive issues, hair loss, and weight issues. 

No joke, it’s an illness. They call it the Human Giver Syndrome (read more about it in Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. Your mind will be blown.)

Act selfishly. Your health depends on it.

When you prioritize yourself and your happiness, you end up being better equipped to deal with life. You start to realize that some of what life throws your way isn’t yours to deal with!

I coach nutrition and fitness because that’s how I get to the people I want to help, but things like Lift to Get Lean are always about more than food and exercise. It is about prioritizing yourself above all else. You deserve to have the life you want. You deserve happiness and a healthy body, but you will never get there unless it is your biggest priority.

It’s your biggest priority, and everyone will keep you from it.

Working less makes you happy, but it’s the last thing your boss wants. If you don’t fold the laundry, it means your spouse will. Everyone, for whatever reason, really wants you to care about their birthday. Don’t take a ride on the guilt trip. Here’s the irony: no one wants you to do what’s best for you, yet when your cup is full, you have more to give others. 

When you take care of yourself, you can better take care of others. You prioritize yourself for them.

Say no, for them.

Go to bed before your chores are done, for them.

Spend time alone, for them.

Tell your friend to get an Uber from the airport, for them.

Stop thinking that you’re the only one who can do everything. 

Do it for you, so you can do it for them.