Stripper Heels Changed My Life

“...and no joke, she just whips her leg around from the stage and totally clocks him in the face, busts his nose open.” I was between sets; I had paused my music and could hear the two “bros” in the free weights area. They were recounting a story from a night at a strip club or a bachelor party or whatever else it is guys like them do with their money. 

“She had on those clear stripper heels that are huge. The big plastic ones that they clack together when they want money? One of those, just…boom, right in his face.” 

This was my cue to turn my late 90s hip-hop mix back on. The mention of “stripper heels” brought me right back to 1998. This was the year of “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It,” Britney Spears rise to fame, and Armageddon. For me, it was all about the StairMaster and the Muscle & Fitness Hers magazine - dog-eared and sweat-stained with the tips and tricks I would need to go back to later. 

This, ladies and gentlemen, was Kylie at 18. Kylie before social media and Reels and kids. Kylie, who was influenced by fitness magazines and Kiana’s Flex Appeal on ESPN. This was the year I saw my favorite fitness instructor walk out on stage at a body-building show. Here was this woman I wanted to be my best friend - completely transformed into a tanned, glistening and rippled mass of lean muscle, bleach-blonde hair, and vibrantly white teeth. 

She once told us about how she ate ice cream with protein powder sprinkled on top. This is what I wanted out of life. 

That was Kylie at 18. Next up: college. The first job. Married. Having a baby. All the stuff of “life” that we all seem to encounter. In the back of my head, the smiling, tanned and shredded woman on stage was still flexing and holding. The market folded on most of the fitness magazines I loved, and social media influencers replaced them.

I promised myself: someday I would compete in a body-building show. It was the thing I thought about when I couldn’t sleep at night or when I saw a celebrity with abs in a movie. The desire was there, but it wasn’t enough. 

I remember the lunch like it was yesterday. Brooks was nine months old,  Pat was telling me something about work, but I wasn’t really listening. I was too focused on the little advertisement sitting on our table promoting the new gym down the street. As a new mom, I was feeling it - I wanted to be fit again; I wanted the pre-baby body again. The ad featured their female trainer on stage in a turquoise bikini - tanned, oiled, abs, smiles. 

I had to have it. I signed up. 

For months I trained alongside a group of women who wanted to eat, work, and live like bikini competitors - it was nothing short of amazing. I followed a meal plan. I lifted weights. We watched each other’s bodies transform. 

I had the body, but to complete the picture, I needed the heels. The chunky, resin, platform heels that give you an extra four inches and can break a bachelor’s nose. This was 2013 - Amazon wasn’t quite what we know it as today. You had to go to a certain kind of store to get those heels. And while you were there, you picked up hair extensions, spray-on tanner, and a bikini covered in sequence.

You know, *that* kind of store.

My first competition was in July of 2013. I looked just like my trainer - blonde extensions, George-Hamilton-deep tan, oiled-up pecs and glutes, and abs you could shred cheese off of. 

All of this balanced on those heels. 

I needed more.

I competed again in August and a few more times the year after. My final show was in April of 2015 - the itch was scratched, and I was ready for something else. I had reached my fitness and nutritional goals, but I also knew I had taken it to an extreme. Competitive body-building and competition prep is a discipline and rife with issues (a story for another day), but the process taught me the power of nutrition. 

On my path I learned that everyone needed a better understanding of how nutrition impacted them, but not everyone needed to take it to such an extreme. This was a path I walked in stripper heels, this was the path that brought Lift To Get Lean to light.

Once you understand the power of protein, strength training, and getting enough to eat, then you have everything you need to create any physique you want. Extremes are sustainable. Instead, find the thing you want. Find the thing you need more of so you can work into the next thing, and the thing after that.

Eventually, your stripper heels will hang in the back of your closet, reminding you of where you’ve been and where you’re capable of going next.